How to navigate reverse ageism at work
If you’ve been at the receiving end of any of the following phrases:
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“Trust me, I’ve been doing this longer.”
“You’re too young looking to give me constructive feedback.”
You might not have realised it at the time, but even though these phrases might sound harmless. When used to dismiss solid ideas, silence feedback, or assert dominance, they reveal a deeper problem that’s rarely talked about: reverse ageism.
While ageism typically refers to older workers being excluded or overlooked, the reverse e.g. younger professionals facing disrespect, condescension, or dismissal simply due to their age, is just as real.
It just tends to be more subtle. And way more uncomfortable to call out.
What does reverse ageism look like?
Reverse ageism isn’t about resenting inexperience.
It’s about recognising when that experience is used to shut others down. It can sound like wisdom, but feel like a power play. And it often shows up in ways like:
Talking over younger colleagues in meetings
Dismissing their input before hearing it
Ignoring or devaluing feedback because “you should know better”
Gaslighting someone when they feel the need to have to demand respect
Using condescending phrases like “you’ll get it one day”
Expecting automatic deference without showing mutual regard
Over time, these behaviours don’t just hurt morale. They erode psychological safety and reinforce outdated hierarchies that hold teams back.
Why does reverse ageism happen?
Sometimes, it’s defensiveness. Other times, it’s a symptom of discomfort with change. As young leaders bring in new perspectives, tools, and ways of working, not everyone is open to adapting. Instead of collaborating, some older colleagues resort to gatekeeping. Consciously or not.
But the workplace isn’t a hierarchy of age. Respect should be based on contribution, not chronology. But sometimes, respect needs to be demanded.
The impact on younger professionals
Reverse ageism often puts younger team members in an impossible position. Speak up, and you're told you’re being “difficult.” Stay quiet, and your ideas go unheard. Either way, the result is the same: you’re not treated with respect.
Over time, this dynamic can undermine confidence, push talent away, and prevent people from growing into the leaders they’re meant to become.
So, what can you do?
An ex-boss, who is now a good friend, once told me in a 1:1 that sometimes, you needn’t be afraid of demanding respect. But you do need to pay attention to the timing, how you hold yourself and the framework you use.
If you’re experiencing reverse ageism:
Set boundaries when you can. If safe, calmly call out condescension: “I’d appreciate if we could speak to each other respectfully.”
If not safe, document patterns. If the behaviour is repeated or escalates, keeping a record can be helpful for HR or leadership.
Find allies. Seek mentors or colleagues who understand the issue and can advocate with or for you.
Stay focused on impact. Keep doing great work. Let your results speak when your voice isn’t always heard.
For my neurodivergent peers, it's worth noting that how these dynamics play out can be highly situational, and often depends on the individual you're engaging with.
But there are blurry grey lines that I can’t delve into, which may need to be considered.
If you’re in a senior position:
Check your assumptions. Are you truly listening, or are you waiting for your turn to speak?
Be curious, not dismissive. Younger colleagues may bring a new perspective. Not a lesser one.
Share the floor, not just the spotlight. Respect grows when it’s mutual.
Avoid using phrases like telling someone to call you Uncle or Auntie. Keep it professional.
Just because you’re informal, don’t expect others to be. Being informal doesn’t allow you to be unprofessional.
Avoid phrases like ‘You’ve taken this too far’ when someone is telling you how they genuinely feel.
Closing thoughts
Workplaces thrive on diversity. Not just of background, but of age, experience, and outlook. The goal isn't to flatten hierarchy completely, but to create a culture where everyone is respected for what they bring, not how long they’ve been around.
Experience should lead to wisdom. Not entitlement. And you’re never too experienced to learn something new.